Are they really looking out for my best interest? Have they ever? Experiencing loss of innocence, of love, trust, compassion and acceptance. Teaching me the ways of the world was to keep secrets and not to trust others.
Forgive and be forgiven. To forgive from my heart by prayer and meditation most of all faith. Faith, my reason for not having taken that last step to end it all. End it all, what an ironic phrase.
Contemplating taking the leap of death. With no one watching, no one encouraging to take the step forward to my demise much less a step back to live. Or was there someone there all along? A guardian, in the form of calico cats. My spirit animal, my power animal helping guide and give me the power of strength, intuition and of survival. As you jump to and from physical to spiritual realm you come to me in the time of need making your presence known. Showing me that even when I fall, I will land on my feet, to gracefully leap up again. Embracing the life I was destined to live, releasing the life given to live.
No longer will I follow the rules given to fail, to live life with no voice or reason. Awaken my intuition, giving me insight I originally had only to be covered up, covered by mankind’s expectations and secrets. “God forgive them for they know not what they do”. Or do they?
I want to start off by saying Thank you all for taking time to read this. I pray for this eulogy to be helpful in a way of understanding and acceptance. This may be a form to pay your last respect or for closure, so long as you are here with good intentions and genuine love for our dearly departed.
There are many who may not have realized who Lisa was, what she lived and the lesson she taught us the day she left us. We can all agree that Mary “Lisa” was not who we once knew. It is no secret that Lisa was not in the greatest place in her life or health. There are many of us who have known Lisa our entire lives and those who knew Lisa since she was born.
On June 17, 1968, Mary Elizabeth Torres was born here in San Antonio. Baby sister to Daniel and Nicky Torres. Only daughter to Oralia and Daniel Torres. The family was together for less than a year after she was born. Sadly, Oralia was called home leaving Lisa to be raised by her grandparents Janie and Fred Vasquez. still having her big brothers and father in her life. Only God and my sister knew all she lived throughout her 52 years. I can only speak on the times I spent with my big sister just like everyone who knew her.
Some memories that a few of us remember are:
*I will always cherish the memories with our family hanging out at Landa Park and backyard barbecues and birthday party’s with our kids. Thanks Lisa (sam)
* I just know she is such a loving and caring person, I miss her. She taught me so much when I was a teenager. What I learned; I cannot say she taught me LOL! (anonymous cousin)
*We were best friend’s I love her very much she was a strong woman. But did not believe she was strong enough to get better. Your sister was a beautiful woman I love her dearly and so did a lot of other people. I never saw her different, she was my friend and everyone struggles. She told me what she wanted in life but was getting more sick. I will miss her very much (Kimberly)
*Mary was one of the first individuals I met when I moved out to San Antonio. I will remember how she took time to look out for me when I was ill and unable to walk. she went out of her way to get me to a place that could help. In many ways she saved my life. I am blessed to have met Mary. There was a time I saw her so carefree and happy, almost a childlike innocence, was when Mary was playing with her puppies who were here babies and companions. Mary confided in me as I did in her. One thing that she shared with me is that there were some things she regretted. Which was how everything turned out with her children. Things that were said and done that cause hurt and damaged their relationships. I will always remember her kind heart. (Ann)
*Everybody makes bad decisions in life everyone strays from the norm during their lives. I knew and remember Lisa at her best and I will always hold her in my memory and heart that way (Tom)
*I’m still in shock I’ve been thinking a lot about her, especially the days when I would spend the weekend with grandpa and gramma. She used to take me to the mall when I was a kid we would spend the whole day there and then go back and watch MTV when they used to play music videos. Gilbert
Thank you to those who share with us.
I’d like to share something I noticed about Lisa as the years went by. Something I hadn’t realized she always did until the end of her journey. Lisa always looked her best. I have many memories of my sister. One I remember was a time I was with my brothers Nicky & David. Lisa and their cousin Raymond were also with us. Nicky took us to the carnival during fiesta, in downtown San Antonio. We had so much fun getting on rides and playing games to win those little mirrors, with some rock bands name on it. What stands out for me when thinking about this time, was stopping to pick up my sister where she lived, on La Gloria Street. Her room was that of a teenager. Posters on the wall. Music playing while she finished getting ready. I sat on her bed while she moussed her long curly hair that was red almost purple. Walking around washing a few dishes and putting make-up on before we left.
Fast forward to 10 years or so. Lisa now married and a mom. My memories of her morning routine getting ready for work is something I have never forgotten. Rolling her hair while getting her babies ready for school and putting her make up on eventually walking out as she slipped her heels on. For a 12-year-old girl it was amazing to witness my big sister as she went from mom and wife to business working woman. As little sisters can sometimes be, I would anxiously wait for her to get home at a time we lived in the same apartment complex. Although she at times looked tired from the day, Lisa would make dinner and care for my nephew Randal. I am happy to have been a part of her life. I was there when Lisa & my brother-in-law had their second son, my nephew and godson Patrick and shortly after their 3rd child and only baby girl Desirae. I witnessed this beautiful woman express & receive love that I carry with me always and more so now. I looked up to my sister and always will. I knew my sister for who she was before her illness with cancer. As I witnessed my sister at her best, I also witnessed her as she struggled and fought for her life for many years in many ways.
Not so long ago I was looking for my sister it was right around Christmas & New Year’s. I had not heard from her nor had I seen her on social media. Although we were not seeing each other frequently we would talk and message on Facebook. Lisa finally joined the world of the internet. she was weighing heavily on my mind, and we noticed she had not responded to our chats in a while. I started asking around for her after finally getting a hold of her, she and I had a conversation that I am so grateful for. As she went all big sister on me for making a big deal about it, all I could say was I was not sorry for doing all I did to find her. That I’d rather have her here and tell me all she needed to than not have her here at all. I saw my sister a couple of times after that conversation. Looking tired and older than I remember she still managed to smile and had her hair combed and make up on. Lisa, still looking her best.
I wanted her to get in my car and allow me to take care of her. I know our brothers felt the same as we all requested Lisa to come stay with us for a while. But she would not be a burden to anyone was what she thought. Again, in May we noticed that Lisa had not responded to messages and calls. Not sure if I was going get the big sister talk again, I waited for a call back. Only, the call our family received was not from my sister.
Mary Elizabeth Torres Soto passed on May 22nd 2021 of natural causes due to, was pronounced deceased on May 24th, 2021. The harsh reality is that she was not physically surrounded by those who love her the most like most of us would have preferred. But I believe that her exit from this life on to her next chapter was orchestrated is such a way that we may learn to appreciate one another as who we are and not who we are expected to be. May we all have peace in our hearts knowing that there was nothing any of us could have done to help how and when Lisa departed. I honestly believe Lisa knows this as well. Although we imagine that she was alone, it was her road that only she was to walk without anyone else, only she was never alone, Our Divine father and protector was and has always been with Lisa.
Personal Acknowledgments & Condolences
In preparing the final arrangements for my sister Lisa it became harder than I thought it would be to get through. So I would like to take this time to end with extending my condolences to Lisa’s extended family & friends. To the rest of our Torres Family & to The Vasquez Family. Although I am not “blood related”, those I’ve had the pleasure of meeting have always been kind and welcoming towards me. I am grateful and appreciate all who cared and loved Lisa.
Thank you for your time and interest in reading . If there is anyone that would like to share a memory or words for the family, please feel free to do so in the comments section
Today officially marks 8 years that she was taken home. Truth is it doesn’t matter how many years, months, weeks, hours, minutes or even seconds it has been. The fact is that she no longer physically here. As another year passes by with next right behind I continue to live each day appreciating all of life’s precious blessings. My connection with all that is. My spiritual calling with Divine Spirit/God, Photographs and fragrances keep vivid images of our life together. Music, oh how I love music, I can feel the rhythm of all life’s emotions. The beats of every heartbeat, each breath taken. It’s amazing to me that most of us do not think about how certain events or a typical day around the house would be so meaningful and memorable for us throughout the years. Hearing this was one of those times. While driving today I heard a song. One I’ve heard her sing many times. An overwhelming rush of the chills flowed from head to toe. Tears filled my eyes and as my attempt to keep smiling failed, the corners of my mouth twitched as my grin turn into a frown. Singing along out loud was no longer possible for that brief moment. Instead I paid attention to the lyrics. To my surprise there it was, there she was. “Mama” sweet beautiful Mama always had a way of getting through to me is what ran through my mind while listening to this verse.
I want to start off by saying Thank you all for taking time to read this. I pray for this eulogy to be helpful in a way of understanding and acceptance. This may be a form to pay your last respect or for closure, so long as you are here with good intentions and genuine love for our dearly departed.
There are many who may not have realized who Lisa was, what she lived and the lesson she taught us the day she left us. We can all agree that Mary “Lisa” was not who we once knew. It is no secret that Lisa was not in the greatest place in her life or health. There are many of us who have known Lisa our entire lives and those who knew Lisa since she was born.
On June 17, 1968, Mary Elizabeth Torres was born here in San Antonio. Baby sister to Daniel and Nicky Torres. Only daughter to Oralia and Daniel Torres. The family was together for less than a year after she was born. Sadly, Oralia was called home leaving Lisa to be raised by her grandparents Janie and Fred Vasquez. still having her big brothers and father in her life. Only God and my sister knew all she lived throughout her 52 years. I can only speak on the times I spent with my big sister just like everyone who knew her.
Some memories that a few of us remember are:
*I will always cherish the memories with our family hanging out at Landa Park and backyard barbecues and birthday party’s with our kids. Thank Lisa (sam)
* I just know she is such a loving and caring person, I miss her. She taught me so much when I was a teenager. What I learned; I cannot say she taught me LOL! (anonymous cousin)
*We were best friend’s I love her very much she was a strong woman. But did not believe she was strong enough to get better. Your sister was a beautiful woman I love her dearly and so did a lot of other people. I never saw her different, she was my friend and everyone struggles. She told me what she wanted in life but was getting more sick. I will miss her very much (Kimberly)
*Mary was one of the first individuals I met when I moved out to San Antonio. I will remember how she took time to look out for me when I was ill and unable to walk. she went out of her way to get me to a place that could help. In many ways she saved my life. I am blessed to have met Mary. There was a time I saw her so carefree and happy, almost a childlike innocence, was when Mary was playing with her puppies who were here babies and companions. Mary confided in me as I did in her. One thing that she shared with me is that there were some things she regretted. Which was how everything turned out with her children. Things that were said and done that cause hurt and damaged their relationships. I will always remember her kind heart. (Ann)
*Everybody makes bad decisions in life everyone strays from the norm during their lives. I knew and remember Lisa at her best and I will always hold her in my memory and heart that way (Tom)
*I’m still in shock I’ve been thinking alot about her, especially the days when I would spend the weekend with grandpa amd gramma.She used to take me to the mall when I was a kid we would spend the whole day there and then go back and watch MTV when they used to play music videos. Gilbert (Gibby)
Thank you to those who share with us.
I’d like to share something I noticed about Lisa as the years went by. Something I hadn’t realized she always did until the end of her journey. Lisa always looked her best. I have many memories of my sister. One I remember was a time I was with my brothers Nicky & David. Lisa and their cousin Raymond were also with us. Nicky took us to the carnival during fiesta, in downtown San Antonio. We had so much fun getting on rides and playing games to win those little mirrors, with some rock bands name on it. What stands out for me when thinking about this time, was stopping to pick up my sister where she lived, on La Gloria Street. Her room was that of a teenager. Posters on the wall. Music playing while she finished getting ready. I sat on her bed while she moussed her long curly hair that was red almost purple. Walking around washing a few dishes and putting make-up on before we left.
Fast forward to 10 years or so. Lisa now married and a mom. My memories of her morning routine getting ready for work is something I have never forgotten. Rolling her hair while getting her babies ready for school and putting her make up on eventually walking out as she slipped her heels on. For a 12-year-old girl it was amazing to witness my big sister as she went from mom and wife to business working woman. As little sisters can sometimes be, I would anxiously wait for her to get home at a time we lived in the same apartment complex. Although she at times looked tired from the day, Lisa would make dinner and care for my nephew Randal. I am happy to have been a part of her life. I was there when Lisa & my brother-in-law had their second son, my nephew and godson Patrick and shortly after their 3rd child and only baby girl Desirae. I witnessed this beautiful woman express & receive love that I carry with me always and more so now. I looked up to my sister and always will. I knew my sister for who she was before her illness with cancer. As I witnessed my sister at her best, I also witnessed her as she struggled and fought for her life for many years in many ways.
Not so long ago I was looking for my sister it was right around Christmas & New Year’s. I had not heard from her nor had I seen her on social media. Although we were not seeing each other frequently we would talk and message on Facebook. Lisa finally joined the world of the internet. she was weighing heavily on my mind, and we noticed she had not responded to our chats in a while. I started asking around for her after finally getting a hold of her, she and I had a conversation that I am so grateful for. As she went all big sister on me for making a big deal about it, all I could say was I was not sorry for doing all I did to find her. That I’d rather have her here and tell me all she needed to than not have her here at all. I saw my sister a couple of times after that conversation. Looking tired and older than I remember she still managed to smile and had her hair combed and make up on. Lisa, still looking her best.
I wanted her to get in my car and allow me to take care of her. I know our brothers felt the same as we all requested Lisa to come stay with us for a while. But she would not be a burden to anyone was what she thought. Again, in May we noticed that Lisa had not responded to messages and calls. Not sure if I was going get the big sister talk again, I waited for a call back. Only, the call our family received was not from my sister.
Mary Elizabeth Torres Soto passed on May 22nd 2021 of natural causes due to, was pronounced deceased on May 24th, 2021. The harsh reality is that she was not physically surrounded by those who love her the most like most of us would have preferred. But I believe that her exit from this life on to her next chapter was orchestrated is such a way that we may learn to appreciate one another as who we are and not who we are expected to be. May we all have peace in our hearts knowing that there was nothing any of us could have done to help how and when Lisa departed. I honestly believe Lisa knows this as well. Although we imagine that she was alone, it was her road that only she was to walk without anyone else, only she was never alone, Our Divine father and protector was and has always been with Lisa.
Personal Acknowledgments & Condolences
In preparing the final arrangements for my sister Lisa it became harder than I thought it would be to get through. So I would like to take this time to end with extending my condolences to Lisa’s extended family & friends. To the rest of our Torres Family & to The Vasquez Family. Although I am not “blood related”, those I’ve had the pleasure of meeting have always been kind and welcoming towards me. I am grateful and appreciate all who cared and loved Lisa.
Thank you for your time and interest in reading . If there is anyone that would like to share a memory or words for the family, please feel free to do so in the comments section
Lisa, Recently heard this feeling its what I thought our family would play when I’m gone. But it turns out I’m playing it for you. Rest in paradise my beautiful angel. The road was long I know, I know your path was not easy. But you walked it and survived. The cruel world has no shame or those who judged but we will all answer for the mistakes we make. Those who cared enough… know you finally left this place… your in a better place. I prayed for you, for the forgiveness of sins and mercy on your soul. I believe that it is done and you are once again with all your loved ones where there is no hate no anger, jealousy or gossip. Just pure genuine love. I will be there at some point with you. Until then I will be here to carry on walking my path with our family and friends our babies as best as I can. Karen
I like to believe that we are all spiritually connected through love, music and family. Anyone who has heard the song “If I could” by Regina Belle, resonated with the meaning of the lyrics as I recently have, must be a parent or guardian who truly loves and wants to protect their children, Even as adults. While scrolling through YouTube music the other day I was drawn to the title “If I could”. I couldn’t place it right away but as I was listening I realized I was singing some of the lyrics. I don’t know exactly when I first heard this song. I don’t remember what the lyrics were even about at the time. I know that it was the long and high notes Ms. Belle sung that caught my attention and the passion in her voice is strong and meaningful. As I listened to the lyrics I would realize that she was singing about children. In thinking about my emotions and thoughts before hearing song they were incredibly in sync with what was being sung. Most of my children being adults, living on their own and supporting themselves, I still want to be able to help shield them from the negativity of the world. I would remove all their past and future experiences that had a traumatic impact on their lives and view of the world. Reminding me that we are connected on by more than just this physical life I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings.
To my children, all of them even those who I did not give birth to yet I had a hand in raising, I love you, I loved you then, I love you now, I will love you always.
As a teenager I was convinced that my life was completely empty and I was lost in this world until I was saved by an angel, this “angel of mine” was my first born son. From the first time I saw him I fell in love and I knew I was forever changed. Meeting my step son shortly after was a blessing for me. He was a little over a year old so full of life and love. Receiving love and appreciation throughout the years taught me valuable lessons of what family can be like. Not just stepparents or stepchildren we are family. My youngest son “my baby” joined us bringing so much joy and love to us all with his old and loving soul. Since the day he was born we have had a close connection that at times words are not needed to know what he needs or wants to say. As time quickly passed and life struggles got to be a little more than I thought I could handle I was saved yet again. My first born daughter. My beauty, from the first diaper change to the day I watched her move out and into her own place, has had my heart and admiration. An independent woman of courage and heart of an Angel. Little did I know that we were not done not by a long shot. Years later my youngest daughter graced with her presence. She’s brought a new appreciation for the song by Eric Clapton “Layla”. In many ways has given us more joy and brought more meaning in our lives along with patience. A teenager with the strength of a warrior and a sweet soul.
There are a few others who I have had the honor of helping raise throughout the years. I hope they will always know how much I learned and will always appreciate our time.
My world is ever changing but my love for each of my children is never ending. If I could… I would face their fears their life struggles. I’d take the physical and emotional hurts along with the sadness of losing friends partners and family members. Sadly I cannot take their place when they hurt or made choices that would not end up well. With my faith in God, myself and in my children I have and will continue to been there for them as I am able to and what they allow me to. This journey is theirs to walk, to live, to experience. I have all the confidence in the world that no matter what happens in life and on their own paths that they will be there for each other as siblings and for future generations to come.
My children, You have free will to love or not but I pray that you choose Love, Love yourselves, love your brothers and sisters, Love life because it’s yours. Respect yourselves and your family. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. As dad has often said “look for the silver lining in every situation, the good in everyone.” Know that you got this. Never give up on yourself or your family. Love unconditionally without blame but with humility and selflessness. Never let go of faith, Faith in God and faith in yourself. I’m so proud of you ALL and “If I could I would” do this all over again, I would. Proudly and Sincerely Mama Bear
Today officially marks 8 years that she was taken home. Truth is it doesn’t matter how many years, months, weeks, hours, minutes or even seconds it has been. The fact is that she no longer physically here. As another year passes by with next right behind I continue to live each day appreciating all of life’s precious blessings. My connection with all that is. My spiritual calling with Divine Spirit/God, Photographs and fragrances keep vivid images of our life together. Music, oh how I love music, I can feel the rhythm of all life’s emotions. The beats of every heartbeat, each breath taken. It’s amazing to me that most of us do not think about how certain events or a typical day around the house would be so meaningful and memorable for us throughout the years. Hearing this was one of those times. While driving today I heard a song. One I’ve heard her sing many times. An overwhelming rush of the chills flowed from head to toe. Tears filled my eyes and as my attempt to keep smiling failed, the corners of my mouth twitched as my grin turn into a frown. Singing along out loud was no longer possible for that brief moment. Instead I paid attention to the lyrics. To my surprise there it was, there she was. “Mama” sweet beautiful Mama always had a way of getting through to me is what ran through my mind while listening to this verse.
K's thoughts 