Peace in your soul, love in your heart
Step outside into the night. As the moonlight shines down divine light across the sky surrounds
Bringing tranquility into the universe
Cleansing waters splashing into waves purifies negative energy
Bringing tranquility positive energy is dispersed
Do you feel it
Feel the peace in your soul the love in your heart
There have been vast studies going back centuries about dreaming and meanings of our dreams. During a Dream interpretation course one of many fascinating articles I read was “Cultural beliefs of Dreaming” MmpRN25RVnNyM05vNUt3/view?usp=drivesdk
Cultural Aspects of Dreaming in the earlier eras is in some acpects similar to the modern cultural aspects of dreaming many choose to believe today. For me before technology and research was created and enhanced through the years collecting all sorts of information from all areas of the world, the cultural beliefs from the early ages were pretty straight forward almost “black and white”. You either believe or you don’t believe that there is a meaning hidden within our dreams. Some remember their dreams and some are unable to remember.
With in my own culture dreams were a result of what was in our mind from the day before. Confusion in my own early days 1980’s through the 1990’s was that dreams had a superstition behind details of a dream not so much actual meanings. There are beliefs in today’s indigious cultures around the world that in manys ways combined beliefs of dreams and their meaning.
Nightmares, bad dreams that left you feeling anxious and scared to even close your eyes and go back to sleep. Waking up crying because you dreamt something about someone that you love has died is considered a nightmare the superstition in that is the person who died in your dream is going to live longer now “you gave them more years” I resonated with this particular belief that is referenced in the article under Interpretations of dreams as predictions of the future.”In Corsica and in Portugal, to dream of someone’s death gives that person longer life. To explain disturbing dreams as “really” something quite different may be assuring”. In my understanding of this indeed was a bit reassuring for me as I had dreams of my mother passing away. As a young girl it was still very uncomfortable to have in my mind even after I was told the meaning and reason behind it. As the years went by and after having more than one bad dream of the death of my mother I chose to believe that I was continuing to give her a longer life. Although it had been many years since I had such a dream, my mother has passed on. My thoughts on this are if this belief was true she would still be with us today. Which takes me to question the possibility that i was foreseeing the loss of my mother that I would physically witness as she suffered a massive heart attack. As mentioned in the same section, “In many cultures, dreams are held to provide knowledge of the future”. Understanding that the reality is that every living being will perish, physically/ The circle of life is inevitable, still I questioned my having the ability to receive messages of the future.
Are they really looking out for my best interest? Have they ever? Experiencing loss of innocence, of love, trust, compassion and acceptance. Teaching me the ways of the world was to keep secrets and not to trust others.
Forgive and be forgiven. To forgive from my heart by prayer and meditation most of all faith. Faith, my reason for not having taken that last step to end it all. End it all, what an ironic phrase.
Contemplating taking the leap of death. With no one watching, no one encouraging to take the step forward to my demise much less a step back to live. Or was there someone there all along? A guardian, in the form of calico cats. My spirit animal, my power animal helping guide and give me the power of strength, intuition and of survival. As you jump to and from physical to spiritual realm you come to me in the time of need making your presence known. Showing me that even when I fall, I will land on my feet, to gracefully leap up again. Embracing the life I was destined to live, releasing the life given to live.
No longer will I follow the rules given to fail, to live life with no voice or reason. Awaken my intuition, giving me insight I originally had only to be covered up, covered by mankind’s expectations and secrets. “God forgive them for they know not what they do”. Or do they?
My Dear Loving Husband
If ever two were one, then surely it is we.
If ever man were truly loved by his wife, it is thee;
If ever wife was gleeful in love with man, tis I
I adore thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that one doth hold.
Our love is most eminent that rivers cannot quench,
Nor aught but love from thee give recompense
Thy love is inimitable I can no way repay:
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so perservere,
That when we perish, may we live forever.
I love gazing in your eyes and my favorite place in the world is lying in your arms
I believe time has proven that our love is a special bond and it can not be broken, My faith in you, in us has commenced stronger. It matters not the many hurdles and struggles we have faced. Yesterday , today and forever my heart belongs to you.
As the next of kin and guardian of the late Pedro (Pete) Martinez and veteran. I decided to jot down a few words in preparing the inscription for his gravestone which turned into a eulogy and eventually resulting in this blog. Beginning with what I wanted others to know about who he was leading to what I would tell him if he were with me still. As I have spoken on behalf of others who have passed on. Helping with creating a few eulogies for others. This is especially meaningful to me as the Veteran whom I wrote about was my uncle. Please feel free to email or leave a comment or feedback. Helpful thoughts and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated.
Pedro Hernandez Martinez (pete) was a very simple and humble man. Pete was a compassionate wise and knowledgeable soul. Honest and hardworking, a Jack of all trades. There wasn’t a job he was too proud to do. Always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need. Especially those who unselfishly helped him when he or his family was in need. He made sure to always help “as long as I can I’ll always help” is what he would say. Whether it was a taco or a dollar, even shoes and saw someone else in need he would happily give it.
Throughout his life Pete carried all the love, happiness & guidance from the memories of his parents, children, family and friends . A man who served in Vietnam he experienced things that stayed within his soul. Memories that he shared with very few. Memories that haunted him even towards the end of his life journey.
Pete had lost many loved ones throughout his life. His parents, son, numerous family members his younger brother my dad Joe on March 16, 2011.Before my dad passed he asked Pete to look out for my family and me. My uncle Pete agreed to honor his younger brother’s last wish. It was something he wanted to do not only because it was requested of him, also because we have always had a close and loving bond, my uncle and I. In 2011 my uncles wishes were that when the time came I would care for him. I vowed to honor his request as he agreed to and fulfilled the request of his brother.
My family and I have so many fond memories of my uncle Pete. Years ago my husband Sam and Pete would spend nights after a weekend barbecue talking and laughing while drinking a few cold ones. “Onta la veronga!?” Was how they greeted each other. Even when Pete no longer drank alcohol. After having his first heart attack which resulted in a double bypass, “where’s the beer at?” was still their greeting. Always an important and supportive person in my life he drove me to the hospital when it was time to deliver my son Cedric and was always at the kid’s birthday parties. These are just a few memories created.
October of 2018 Pete suffered a stroke resulting in memory loss later confirmed as vascular dementia. When it was time for me to care for my uncle, my adult children who had moved out came back to help with caring for him. Our close family friends Dora with her son also came to help and spend time with him. My cousin Leslie who is not related to him only knowing of each other instantly became friends. Even though his dementia had progressed he remembered her and was ok with her calling him “Peter”. Lifelong memories were created for each of us as our bond strengthen more than I could have ever imagined. There was happiness there was sadness, confusion even frustration. There are a couple moments that he yelled at me in anger (After 40 years never had he yelled at me).
Tio Pete’s memorable phrases have become apart of our daily conversations, even the ones with his choice of words. His voice calling our names”Sam” ,”Cedric”, “Layla”,” Julius”, “Julian”,”Angelina” & “Karen” can still be heard in our minds. “We can go anywhere you want to go, you want to go to Tink a Taco or Jacalas” We laugh every time we remember this because although I was given the option of “anywhere ” there were only two choices to pick from. Which were his favorite restaurants to eat at.
My most treasured memory of my uncle Pete is the evening he was transported to a VITAS facility. Not knowing that it would be the last time we would both verbally communicate with each other. He said his goodbye to Sam and myself. Earlier in the day Sam was comforting our uncle praying with him assuring him that everything was ok and he was safe. Pete turned to him and asked “will you remember me?”. Sam replied yes of course he will always remember him, that he was grateful to our uncle for all he was and did for us over the years. That night we sat together in his room talking about what he was doing and how the kids were. Caught off guard when in Spanish he told me “te voy echar menos” (I’m going to miss you). Looking at him smiling was the only reply I could give without breaking down. He continued.. “deberías te voy echar mucho menos mija” (really, I’m really going to miss you mija). Finally I responded that I wanted to care for him that it was him and I taking care of each other. How much I love and appreciate him being apart of my life and caring for me as he always did. For Being my Tio Pete. As he was leaving my uncle Pete waved me goodbye and blew me a kiss. This was the last time I was to hear his voice and see him physically awake.
The following days my oldest son Julian was at uncle Pete’s bedside day and night, playing music for him letting him know he wasn’t alone. Leslie also spent a couple of nights there at the facility. Both assured that Pete (Peter) was being taken care of. Pete was slipping away his body was shutting down yet, still holding on. Praying and asking what was he waiting for who was he waiting for? I remembered my uncle had been asking for Dora over the past week. Saturday, June 16,2019 Dora walked in and announced herself he showed signs of acknowledging her presence. She sat with him for a while saying her goodbye. Not long after everyone was out of the room and I was distracted in a conversation with Leslie, Pedro Hernandez Martinez Peacefully slipped away to his paradise with our Lord and past loved ones.
Thank you for your service may you rest in eternal peace
“You can go anywhere”
There is information and resources I wish I knew about years ago when I was confused and lost about what Autism was. Luckily there has been more studies conducted leading to an increasing amount of information on the internet and in books. My knowledge mainly comes from real life experiences, being childhood friends with the father of Jeremy (in the photo) along with a few other individuals who are parents or caregivers of children diagnosed with the same or similar disabilities.
Living life with a specific disorder not only life affects day to day living for the family. Let us think about how the actual human being living with it.
As the list of specific disorders is never ending. I’ll focus more on the Autism spectrum and touch on a few other disorders. Self educating myself on asperger’s syndrome for about 15 years now I still have much to learn. This is a given for us parents and educators who have one or more extraordinary individuals in our lives, either our own children, students even friends. I quote “we still have much to learn” due to the fact that we all grow from infants to children, young adolescents, adulthood and eventually Elderly or senior citizens. In all actuality we never stop learning about ourselves and others.No matter where they are on the autistic spectrum there are stages of life. It’s best to continue increasing our knowledge and assist as they grow in and out of these stages.
According to: https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/autism-spectrum-disorders
Autism spectrum disorders include social, communication, and behavioral challenges. These problems can be mild, severe, or somewhere in between. The types of autism are:
Symptoms include:
Before I ever heard of the Autistic spectrum disorder I only knew of a few disorders or what was considered an illness.
There was Down syndrome in which I have very little experience with this particular illness. What knew growing up was it was due to a genetic disorder. These individuals were similar in distinct facial features and have difficulties with their speech.
Mental retardation (MR) by the way Which was really troublesome for me to hear or say as a child. I felt it was insulting and just morally wrong in some way. I know now it’s pretty much caused by how I heard others use the term. Usually said as a “put down” used as loosely as the word stupid.
Another disorder I was aware of but knew very little about is Cerebral palsy. When reading on this I realized that it is similar to the autism spectrum. There is information about the co-occurrence with cerebral palsy and autism.
My thoughts on these various disorders is we should all educate ourselves and others on how to understand the importance of knowing what the symptoms, what type of diagnosis and how to help the one diagnosed. Second opinions are important when diagnosing someone with a lifelong disability. Most of all as parents do not blame yourself, do not put down you’re being a parent or even question your worth as a parent. If you stumbled across this blog or any other article searching for answers or help, let this be confirmation that you are worthy and meant to be a parent you’re the perfect parent for this perfect being. We live and learn. Keep up the good work.
K's thoughts 